Monday 1 February 2010

Yesterday was lost...

Not a good day, yesterday. I was obsessing all day long. I seem to plan to do so much at the weekend as then when it comes end up being overwhelmed by my "to do" list, espcially when I am feeling anxious. I was quite tired from not sleeping great which never helps. It starts off with anxiety and then the OCD kicks off. I am a checker but also I have a compulsion to go over and over things in my head. It's like a list which is stuck on repeat going round and round and it's so hard to stop it. At least when I'm checking I can somehow, eventually walk away from the object I'm checking but I cannot walk away from my head (probably not a bad things really!)! So yes, that was yesterday. I was so annoyed at having wasted my day. I need to learn to recognise at the time that I am anxious and try to sort out the cause of it but somehow I often fail to spot it. It sounds so obvious but it's not always an intense anxiety - just in the background but strong enough to set off the OCD. I don't realise until much later when I've started to analyse. Oh well today is another day. I try to see it as a learning experience and spot it next time. Fingers crossed.

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