Sunday, 25 September 2011

Anxiety rising...

Over the last couple of weeks my general anxiety has risen, I guess because of the house move. Luckily I don't have a feeling of anxiety at all times like I did a few years ago. It is only when I come up against an issue. Although that is becoming more frequent because there is more going on and things seem more stressful than they would usually. While I am very enthusiastic and very much looking forward to the move it gives me an unsettled feeling. It is as though a big important event is left undone and I need it completed before I can rest again. I keep having the feeling that I cannot cope with things I would usually not worry about quite as much. I had a lack of confidence all last week and I am wondering if that is related to the anxiety caused by the move. I tend to dwell on the negative too and last week I acknowledged my low self-esteem at the moment and spent too much time thinking about it which of course made me feel worse. The key of course is to spot when my thinking is a result of my anxiety rather than a reasonable reaction to a real situation and then try to leave it to worry time, challenge the thought or/and problem solve as I have been recently taught. Using the worry time is very useful indeed. Sometimes I am better at enforcing it than others but I usually manage to do it. Lately I think I could have used it more. Yesterday I was in quite an anxious state about various things and my list for worry time was long! It does help to clear my head and come back to things later. I feel more in control that way becuase I have managed to leave it to later and as a result my head is clearer and calmer so I can think more logically and plan what to do much more effectively.

My OCD is becoming more challenging too. It took me 20 mins to lock up before work on Wednesday which I was really gutted about. But I had it back down to 13 mins on Friday. It is an anxiety rollercoaster at the moment!

Sunday, 18 September 2011

To the test...

Times are becoming stressful so it's going to be a test for my new skills learnt from my recent CBT for GAD (worrying) treatment.

Two weeks ago I was coming up to my grading for my green Karate belt so I was quite anxious. When I am anxious about something important that anxiety can affect me more generally and I can end up being worried about all sorts of smaller less significant things. I ended up having a freak out about work. That all calmed down though until later in the week when I had another freak out, again about work. Then last sunday it was grading day! Very exciting but nerve wracking of course. I got through the day with fewer nerves than usual and successfully obtained my belt. Whoooo hooooo! Very happy.

The week to follow was to prove stressful again when househunting. Yes one of the most stressful things we do - move house! We spent hours looking for something and were lucky enough to find a house last week. I am thinking I am going to have to fully engage all my new learnt skills if I am to get through it with my sanity in tact! The hardest thing is to let go of the many thoughts which come when I am trying to do something else such as sleep! All the what ifs and buts that come with such a big thing. I suspect my worry time/thinking time list is about to get longer.