Friday, 26 March 2010

Had enough now...

I have had enough now. I hate my weight and want to loose some. I have not been comfortable for a long while and that woman pointing it out the other day has really made me motivated now to do something about it. If she has noticed everyone has noticed. I wonder if people at work comment to each other? They must as everyone at work is obsessed with weight - even the guys! They always used to call me small and one woman used to say I was a tiny person which although I didn't object to I didn't really appreciate - now I do! So from yesterday I have decided to not go on a diet as such but just cut out snaks. Meals only should really shift the weight. It did last time although that turned into anorexia so I must watch myself. Wish me luck. Don't think me easily influenced. She only pointed out something I already feel uncomfortable about. I know what I want for myself and wouldn't be bothered by the comments of others if I was happy. I'm only effected because I'm not.

Only trouble is if I eat less (as I have said before) my anxiety increases as does the OCD. I guess I need to find ways of managing the anxiety and OCD when I am not able to stave it off by satisfying my appetite. All who reduce their calorie intake go through a period of constant background hunger. What am I supposed to do? Slowly get bigger so I end up physically unhealthy but with a healthy brain? What a choice!

Anyway, it's the weekend now so time for a glass of Pino Grigio and sod the calories.

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