Whoa! This week has been tough and it's only Wednesday lunch time. Work has been crazy busy and when that happens I can react in one of two ways. Sometimes I love it and become very active and enthusiastic and enjoy the challenge. Other times I am plagued by self doubt and the OCD seems to gain strength which of course increases the self doubt. Unfortunately on Monday morning it was the latter way. I feel quite cheated because I believe that by nature I am a very confident individual and that my lack of self-esteem is a direct result of OCD. I am now tired and bit miserable. I am trying to pick myself up with positivity and I will get there but it's a struggle. I have felt as though I am sinking and not able to manage rather than seeing it as a challenge and getting stuck in and putting some energy in.
I wonder why I sometimes thrive on it and others want to disappear. Maybe it is simply my attitude and self-esteem at the time the situation arises. As I have mentioned previously I have been aiming to actively increase my self-esteem on a daily basis by having a "session", as I refer to it, when I consider my good points to give myself a boost. Lately I have not been doing this as life has kind of got in the way. Perhaps though if I were to have a "session" daily then life would not have the chance to get in the way and run away with me as I would remain more in control...
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