Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Fighting the rituals
I thought that when I moved house my OCD checking before leaving the house would be worse. In unfamiliar surroundings I I assumed that I would be more anxious to make sure everything was secure. How wrong I was. The first few days were easy! It took about four minutes to check around and go. Now, after two months it takes me almost ten minutes. I now realise how much the checking is habitual and learned. Gradually the habit has grown and taken hold as I have learned what "needs" checking and developed the habit. How to undo this learned habit? Back to the CBT. I say to myself would I do this checking if I were OCD free? Would someone else do this checking? If I am doubting then it is the OCD. I planned to do better this morning but again I set off about four minutes late. Tomorrow I hope to set off on time. I realise I am still so much better than I used to be when it took me 30 minutes to leave the house but I don't ever want it to slip that far. Must try to stay on top.