Monday, 14 March 2011
I have recently been fortunate enough to experience life without anxiety, fear and worry. This is with the help of the books I have been reading and which I now pretty much live by. This rare feeling of stillness and peace in my mind is really quite blissful. It enables me to just be, experience now, get on with my life and enjoy all that life is. There is however, one other thing the peace creates - space. Actually, it's a void. At times I go from being a constant worrier to someone well, pretty much normal really. This is fantastic of course and something I want to maintain but what about the space? I have feared and worried my way through life and I feel as a consequence have not achieved what I could have. This mental freedom allows me to see this. The only thing I have done is take up karate in the last few months. The space in my life and the time I now have is an opportunity to live and experience which, progress permitting, I fully intend to do but I cannot help but feel a great sadness at the lost time and opportunities I have missed. Without the fear and worrying to make me afraid to do things and occupy my time what would I have been like and what would I have done with my life? I am now left thinking what can I do to make a start on making up for it? Can I? I feel as though I need to get to know myself properly aside from the problem so I can successfully achieve what I want out of life.