Experiences of a life with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) & Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Here are the difficulties I face and my struggle to overcome them in order to live a full and happy life in spite of them.
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
OCD Exposure: Fell flat on my face at my first attempt - literally!
On my way to work on Monday morning I was running for my train and tripped. I banged my knee and cut it open. I sat there for a few seconds feeling a bit shocked and sorry for myself and then as I got up and slowly made my way to the train station the feeling quickly changed to annoyance. Why did I trip? Because I was running. Why was I running? Because I was late for the train? Why? Because it took me too long to lock up because I was not strict enough with my OCD. I then promised myself I would not be having to run for the train again and have managed the last two days to leave in good time but still feel I am giving in a bit too much. I reminded myself as I left the house this morning that complete exposure to OCD means not one little check. Not one! I wonder how I will do tomorrow...
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Hope your knee feels better soon. And your psyche too. ;) I know, it's a good idea to try to do exposures full force, but hey, any little step is progress! If you only checked 10 times today, as opposed to the usual 20 or 30, hey- that's great! You'll get there! Don't let imperfection get you down. You're aware of things and working on them, and that deserves a pat on the back. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling better! A year ago I tripped walking to work, and it was such a jolt. I still have a scar on my upper lip. I find if I set a goal that I know I have a good chance of doing, no matter how "small" or "inconsequential" it seems, and I succeed in doing it, I get a little burst of energy to proceed to the next step. It's not "all or nothing" in my opinion--because if you demand "not one little check" and it's too much, it will rebound, and stress you out even more.
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