Showing the strain of OCD and Anxiety...

On Sunday I hit the back of my wrist on the underside of the shower door as I picked the bath mat off the floor. The following few hours were hell. Not because of the cut which was very small or the force with which I hit it but because I became paranoid that I was almost certainly going to get tetanus. Normally I would not even think of this especially since I was immunised as a child. Or perhaps it would pass through my mind only to be quickly dismissed. I was terrified. It was all I could think about, going over and over the likeliness. I made the mistake of doing the worst thing which is look it up on the net as that way you pick up a lot of innaccurate and frightening information. I ended up calling NHS direct who said I should keep the cut clean and covered and call my doctor in the morning to check my immunisation history. I had to wait until morning. I felt dreadful knowing that I had to wait so long until I could be sure I would be safe.

I understand why this has happend. Basically I am stressed. It has happened before where gradually the stress has crept up on me unnoticed until one day something relatively small happens and wham! Horror strikes and I feel as though I have a clamp around my heart and I am having the life squeezed out of me slowly. Having totally misjudged the situation and being illogical. I put it down to a combination of general life stresses which we all suffer, of course and OCD & Anxiety. Obviously suffering with OCD and anxiety makes you more susceptible to stress. The day in day out strain of having to repeat everything and knowing I will feel I have to do this each day along with the general feelings of anxiety really take its toll and when "real" life gets stressful too it can be a lot to deal with.

I think I need to really keep an eye on my stress levels and make sure I am getting enough relaxation time each day even if only for a short while. I am feeling a bit better now and am really trying to make sure I relax. I am due for my daily "session" now and a bit of meditation is called for I think.

I did call the doctor by the way, who said I am covered as I am immunised.