Confused...

I have become confused recently. I try to analyse everything I think. If I feel down, anxious or just not right I have to understand why I think and feel that way so I can sort it out. Also, I try to order my anxieties, problems and concerns in my head so that they are easily understandable and accessible. The problem here though is that I spend too much time thinking about all this and putting everything in order. Like I said in my last blog I have managed to leave worries to “Worry Time” but now I think I have ended up, without really noticing, spending that time overthinking my state of mind. Perhaps I can invent another branch of worrying just called “Analysis Time” where I can analyse to my heart’s content about the way I feel?! I could have a whole tree! Some might say that worrying and analysing is the same thing which maybe it is but I guess that is the OCD making me be more specific and exact. I will now include “Thinking Time” along with my ”Worry Time” for anything that is not, to my mind, a worry as such. My little attempt to not be too exact as I really would come up with the whole tree. Too complicated! I am hoping this will allow me to leave any kind of overthinking to later when I can do it in a short 20 minutes max session. Ending with a few minutes relaxation such as breathing techniques or whatever helps at the time.

This is an attempt to free my mind from the burden of so much unnecessary and unhelpful thinking but to also address any real problems I might have and try to see the difference between the two. I find I have so many genuine issues that it is important to acknowledge them, understand them and straighten them out but it is equally important to set aside a time to go over them to save me from spending all my time thinking about them which is not helpful.

Monkey Mind

I completed the CBT course for GAD and am doing quite well. Each time I begin to worry excessively I leave the worry to Worry Time. I am more able to problem solve and challenge my worrisome thoughts. Accepting uncertainty is slightly easier than it used to be but still a frightening thing - the not knowing! All in all it is going well.

However, since stopping all the constant worrying another problem which I had previously been aware of has been further highlited to me. I have terrible concentration and mental discipline! My mind is more peaceful (joy!) but I have found that, after of years of giving in to compulsions and thinking what my mind tells me I must, I have almost no concentration. Before I had the constant worries going over and over in mind like a tape playing over and over but when my mind is free of that such as at the moment I still have jumping thoughts and no discipline. My mind does still gravitate to worries, fears and often negativity. I manage to postpone the worrying but my mind is still jumping around with doubts etc.. How do I tame my "Monkey Mind" as it is called? The constant chattering. How do I learn to concentrate after years of not doing? Any tips please? I am using mindful awareness at the moment. I have recently been trying to think in practical terms and not to allow my mind to wonder too much i.e. focus on what I am doing right now. When this works I feel good. It enables me to concentrate on what I am doing while preventing the worrisome thoughts, fears and negative thinking etc..