Changing my ways? Time will tell...

Since beginning to learn about what is important and what makes us - or rather me - happy I have been considering the huge amount of shopping I do. My huge handbag collection for which I am well known among my friends and family and the way in which I am attracted to jewellery like a magpie. Is it all really that important? Should I really be spending my hard earned cash on this stuff? Well obviously not but we all do lots of things we know we shouldn't really do. I enjoy my beautiful possessions and appreciate them but I think it's now sinking in that it does not actaully make me happy. The other day I spent hours agonising over whether to buy something and when I eventually bought it I did not feel much better for having made that decision probably because I know that it is not something I need, is frivolous, is greedy going too far? And I now have less money. Lesson learnt? Time will tell. The reading up on spirituality and Buddhism I have done has tought me about how happiness comes from inside yourself and how you feel about yourself and the world. Nothing external and nothing material should control your happiness. I think it's an interesting point and while difficult to get your head around, once you begin to it really makes sense. Well I'm off now as I need to go to the Post Office to send off one of my many possessions I have sold / am selling on eBay. Perhaps I can make some of that hard earned cash back.

The power of positive thinking...

I have just learned the importance of positive thinking. It should never be underestimated. NEVER! It is also therefore, true to say never underestimate the power of negative thinking. Last November when it became apparent I needed to share my OCD secret with my family because of a partial "breakdown" I took great comfort from a book called "Who Rules In Your Life?" by Miriam Subirana which is based on the teachings of the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University. This book teaches you that you are the ruler of your life in terms of how you deal with your life by thinking positively. It is a very useful tool in dealing with the small things and the big and your overall approach to daily life. Thinking positively massively influences all decisions you make, the way you feel and live. I realised the importance of this back in November however, life being what it is, even the the most inspiring of things can get forgotten if you allow yourself, as one naturally does, to get caught up in life without pausing now and again to consider your spiritual state of mind and well being. This is what I have done. Gradually, slowly the negative thinking has crept back in without me even noticing. You'd think it obvious but no it wasn't. My OCD became worse (as I mentined on my blog a few days ago) and I am not sure why. Maybe it was the negative thinking?! I was quite down about this and then became aware that I was thinking negatively. While I tried to improve my OCD with total exposure, which is helping, I then proceeded to spend the next few days dwelling on my bad feelings while trying to tell myself not to be negative. The dwelling on it then intertwines with my OCD and I then compulsively think about it constantly in an effort to sort it out and find the solution. This all gets very depressing and I need to break away from the compulsion to think about it. The realisation alone, that I was negative thinking was not enough to turn it around. I then picked up the book today and started reading and already have begun to feel a bit better. The book and spirituality/positive thinking will from today onwards be a permanent fixture in my progress and maintenance of a positive, healthy and stable mind. I can recommend it to anyone.