Monday, 7 June 2010
Extreme sensitivity...
Does anyone else with Generalised Anxiety Disorder or OCD find that they are really sensitive? I find that if I am told I am doing something wrong by someone who I find intimidating I can be devastated. Even when the issue is not a big deal. I either feel irrationally bad about myself for making the mistake or just really frightened of the individual. Or both. This is quite a problem for me at the moment because I feel strongly one way and my logic tells me otherwise but my feelings are so strong that I cannot ignore them. Help! Do you know what on earth I am talking about?! If so how do you deal with the feelings? Are they just my problem and I have to just get in with it? Or is the other person at fault for making me feel bad? Confused!
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Oh, this is tough! My ocd started so young that it intertwined with things I learned as a child from my parents like "Do everything perfectly or you are worthless," or "You are defective, you have no right to exist." And one form of ocd is perfectionism, so it all feeds each other. My therapist has helped me to challenge my beliefs that I am defective with Cognitive Behavioral therapy, and seeing that there is no universal law that says I can't exist on the planet. And I do exposure therapy, practicing doing things imperfectly until I get used to it, and the anxiety subsides.
ReplyDeleteIt's not black and white--sometimes people really are harsh and abrasive, and sometimes I am acting out my old beliefs. But I've learned it's not about me, and I am much better now at not taking it personally. My next step is to practice assertively asking for what I want--ie. respect or civil words.